Rum and Booster Shots FRIDAY!

You are now at the bottom of the page. You fool. You poor, poor asshole.

A former friend of Republican Congressman Matt Gates reportedly gave her testimony yesterday before a grand jury. After being thanked for her cooperation, she said, ‘Hey, anything out of gym class.’ ‘
– Seth Meyers

“The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention now recommends a Pfizer booster for children under 12. Unless you’re misbehaving — then you’ll get Johnson & Johnson.” |
– Jimmy Fallon

“I learned one thing from social media, and QAnon proves what I’m going to say: If you make up something, and then you think what you make up is true, you are crazy. And if you read something they make up, and you think what they made up is true, you are. mad. ”
– Louis Black on Tonight Show

I tried doing “Dry January” but as usual, my constant, insatiable craving for grain alcohol was just too strong. Oh well.
—Conan O’Brien via Twitter

A year ago…

“President Trump was impeached today because of a Secondly time. Or, as Fox News reported: Fun crafts on a rainy day to do with your grandchildren! “
– Seth Meyers

And now, our special offer…

cheers and sarcasm for Friday 14 January 2022

Noticeable: If you’re bringing a cup of your pee to fight Covid-19, add a touch of lime and a small paper umbrella to liven it up. Or serve it in a metal cup and add a sprig of mint. Or even try… a crazy straw! Whatever you choose, be creative and have fun. This is for you me time. – Department. For Tinkle . Services

In numbers:

7 days!!!

Squirrel appreciation day til days: 7

Federal revenue increased during the third quarter compared to last year: 30.1%

Years since the federal deficit was as small as it was in December: 2

Number of additional National Guard personnel sent to assist who Hospitals are dealing with unvaccinated fools who are clogging up our hospitals in record numbers: 169

Number of presidents who have not sworn an oath on the Bible (GQ Adams, T. Roosevelt): 2

Number of English words besides “dreamed” (and its derivatives) ending in “mt”: 0

Haze particles you need to fill a teaspoonful according to the internet: 7000000

Puppy Picture of the Day: The best seat in the House of Representatives…

Cheers To protect against Cyber ​​Ninja attacks. After witnesses of seizure and desecration ArizonaThe electoral apparatus by a group of shadowy right-wing giants hired by desperate Republican lawmakers to ensure that no Democrat wins the state again, Maine actress, Teresa Pearce formulate a plan To make sure that never happens here:

Supporters of the bill said it would clarify the chain of custody for ballots and voting machines to ensure he was legally allowed to possess them. …

ShennaBellows.jpg
Maine Sea State China Bellows Bans Election “Reviewers”: Not in my watch.

Secretary of State Schina Pellose testified in favor of the bill on Wednesday. She said the proposal is a “guarantee against electoral sabotage.”

Supporters of the proposal said the bill would prevent voting machines or ballot papers from being handed over to individuals or groups with partisan agendas. She is scheduled to receive a working session before a legislative committee in the coming weeks.

There is also a display from Maine city clerks for Tougher penalties for harassment of election workers, which means fake right-wing glue sniffers who made spectators play sports by shouting conspiracy theories and death threats to them. The sentence will be raised from the current one year in prison to five. I like the odds of passing both scales. It is logical, necessary, and most of all, that Kirsten Sinema does not live here.

Cheers to roll up the wicked. Hopping in a giant armored snowplow taxi, Attorney General Merrick “smiled when you say it” Garland hit the gas and turned the secret hideout of the Republican terrorist group Oath Keepers into ruins yesterday, Then they handed the bad guys to a grand jury from the back of the neck He said, “Let’s do some good!”

Stuart Rhodes, the founder of the far-right Department of Guard militia, has been indicted for his organization’s involvement in planning the January 6 attack. […]

Stuart Rhodes in Portland June 4, 2017
Mr. Rhodes, seen here before he puts down his rifle and shoots himself in the eye. (No damage was done to his brain because it was on his kitchen counter covered in pork fat at the time.)

Rhodes and the 10 other people were charged with “seditious conspiracy.” Others are charged with crimes “related to the January 6 breach of the Capitol, the Justice Department said.

The defendants conspired in various ways, including organizing into teams that were “willing and willing to use force and move firearms and ammunition inside. WashingtonAnd CapitalThe Ministry of Justice, citing the indictment, said. Rhodes A call was made on the group’s website in the days before the attack for “all patriots who could be in the capital” to travel to Washington For a “security mission” to “stand tall in support of President Trump’s fight”.

Rhodes and his gang will spend up to twenty years in prison or however long it takes the next Republican president to pardon them on day one, whichever comes first.

Cheers By stopping with all the shooting, hitting, bayonets, and the like. 238 years ago today, on January 14, 1784Congress I believed Treaty of ParisOfficially ending the War of Independence:

After the British defeat in Yorktownpeace talks in Paris Started in April 1782 between Richard Osworld’s acting Great Britain and the US Peace Commissioners Benjamin Franklin, John Jay, and John Adams.

Treaty of Paris 1783.jpg
Can you imagine what this would bring on eBay today?

Henry Lorenz joined US negotiators two days before the initial articles of peace were signed November 30, 1782. The Treaty of Paris, which officially ended the war, was not even signed September 3, 1783. The Continental Congress, which had temporary headquarters in AnnapolisAnd Maryland, at that time, ratified the Treaty of Paris on January 14, 1784.

Among other judgments we obtained Britain: Learning about our borders, repairing all the airports that were damaged, and restarting Benny Hill without royalties.

short break

A short break in the sewer

gear To mess with the precious. employment Sunday in 1919, stubborn moderation in Wyoming Post became necessary ratification of the banwhich entered into force in January 16, 1920…in the name of, of course, Jeeeeeezus. As a lapsed Episcopalian, I would like to apologize for this on behalf of all my brothers and sisters:

Many of the ban groups, called “droughts,” were ecclesiastical, mostly Protestant.

Group of people at a table with a sign displaying the prohibition and drinking rules
“Yeah. We’ll do it right.”

Anti-Prohibition, or “wet”, groups tend to be predominantly Roman Catholic, Episcopalian, and Lutheran from Germany. Both major political parties had wet and dry factions.

[W]When Congress convened in January 1917, the mandate was clear: Regardless of party, desiccate outnumbers congressional hydration by a ratio of 2:1.

The result: a significant rise in organized crime. The stock market crash of 1929 led to the eventual repeal of the Eighteenth Amendment on the grounds that a revival of the legal liquor industry would create jobs. So you might say that in a strange way the bankers took down the gangsters. (Although, like today, it took a while to figure out who it was.)

Cheers to houseplants. Here are some great stuff on the dice this weekend, from Chris Hayes, Rachel Maddow and Lawrence O’Donnell tackling Friday news pranks on MSNBC. Or you can pick up a new version of Ben and Teller: You’re fooling us 8 o’clock on The CW, while CBS airs a new episode of undercover head.

All new movies and home videos are reviewed Here at Rotten Tomatoes. the NBA schedule here, the NFL schedule here, the NHL schedule here (assuming not canceled by Omicron). new Who is the font? Anyway it airs tomorrow at 8 on The CW. Ariana Debus (West side story) hosts SNL (assuming they don’t put it in a bag because of Omicron). Sunday day 60 minutesCountry music star Chris Stapleton on songwriting, and a look at the betrayal of the Anne Frank family in 1945. Our night ends at 10 when HBO airs a new episode of Good gems. Or as I call them: the bad guys who keep complaining.

Now here’s our Sunday morning lineup:

Meet the press: To be announced

this week: General Surgeon Dr. Vivek Murthy; Whip-majority Representative Jim Clipburn (D-North Carolina); former Trump Homeland Security and Counterterrorism Adviser Tom Bossert; NPR host Steve Inscape, whom Trump called last week for daring to ask a disagreeable question.

facing the nation: It. Tim Kaine (D-Virginia); Former FDA man Scott Gottlieb.

CNN’s case union: Representative Jim Clipburn; Senator Bill Cassidy (Cult-LA); Rep. Michael McCall (Cult-TX); General Surgeon Vivek Murthy.

Fox GOP Sunday Talk Points: To be announced

Happy watching!

Ten years ago at C&J: January 14, 2012

Cheers To wear the coat on the microchip before a close-up shot. In a move dubbed “historic,” the Los Angeles City Council voted to request porn stars To use a condom before they start shooting. Bold expectation: Whoever is responsible for examining applications for the new LAPD Porn Inspection Bureau is about to be buried in resumes.

and again …

Cheers To prove the doll wrong. Twelve years ago today, I got an urgent email from some conservative hacker who wanted me to know something very important. It’s – like most conspiratorial screeds – quite long, but here’s Crazy Clifs Notes’ version. Being a fan of alliteration, the first sentence gave me goosebumps:

The ill-fated Democrat-funded Daily Koss tracks down the manipulated, dishonest, and Democratic-funded pro-Obama poll numbers. Today’s fake poll shows Obama’s approval numbers a full eight points higher than the average of all respectable, impartial, reliable and complete polls. ten Score higher than the CBS News poll released earlier today.

PyroKos.jpg
Nobody crosses our Kingpin keyboard. Nobody.

Let’s be clear cos It’s taking money from Democrats to doctor polls and shoe practitioners and sycophants who support cos Afraid of a challenge cos. Remember that dissenting opinion, discussion and argument are not allowed in cos website. If you do not agree with cos You are not allowed to publish articles about the financier Democrat cos Website so none of the information related to a doctor cos Opinion polls and more cos Lies will appear on his website. Just like Olbermann’s low-rated program, opposition to “DailyKos” is forbidden!

The evidence and history of the spurious fake opinion polls on the categorically and astonishingly compellingly funded Democratic Daily Kos, Unfortunately, the so-called anonymous writers who post stories on cos They are not allowed to criticize him or they will be banned for life.

And this is where you really take the risk of a lifetime “funded by Democrats” – as I do every year at this time – by stepping off the edge and testing the email sender’s grand theory. As a “bootlicker” for Daily Cos this is tricky, but here it goes: Marcus, you’re a lonely head. The rest… is in the hands of God. Please pray for my soul

I wish you a nice week-end. The floor is open… What are you cheering and cheering for today?

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